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My mother, knowing that I had a fondness for babies in general, suggested (as she did every year) that we go pray to the baby Jesus set up in the crèche they had on display up at the front of the church and just to the left of the altar. As we made our way there I remember wondering what we would pray about; Mother usually guided the way with regard to that. This time however, she left me to my own devices ~ it seemed she had some intensive praying of her own she wanted to do. So I knelt down on the padded step in front of the crèche and leaned my little arms on the railing with my hands folded in front of me just the way I had been shown, and I prayed. It was a simple prayer, and I don’t even know if I was aware of what I was really praying for or if I was simply repeating what I had heard others praying for, but I prayed for Peace and Love in the world. It was only a moment or two later that it was almost like someone had flipped a switch in my consciousness; I suddenly could SEE. I could see like I’d never seen before… like there was this whole other aspect of the world that had been shut out of view until that moment. And it wasn’t just a “seeing” with my eyes, but rather a knowing with my heart that the world was more complex and yet at the same time, much simpler than anyone around me realized.

All of a sudden EVERYTHING was Beautiful; the point at which I suddenly awakened to the Beauty of absolutely everything around me. I couldn’t look at anything the way I had prior to that ~ it seemed to me that EVERYTHING was alive, had its “place” in this world, and there was a reason for everything…

It was also around this same time that I began having a recurring “dream” where I would find myself dressed in the most Beautiful little white lace party dress I had ever seen (with a wide, pink satin sash at the waist), standing in the backyard of the house I grew up in. It was always late springtime, the weather was warm, and there were little flowers in the grass of the lawn that had fallen out of the nearby trees they had bloomed on. They always seemed just as fresh as they were while they were still blooming on the trees. Nearby there was always a table set up with adults sitting and standing gathered around. There was a wonderful banquet set out on the table and the general mood was celebratory. Everyone seemed so calm and relaxed, but at the same time jubilant, as if they were celebrating some wondrous event that had just taken place. And I remember the way that I especially felt inside ~ total Bliss! I really don’t know what else to call it. Calm, Peaceful, no worries or fears whatsoever, and so totally and unconditionally Loved!

I will admit here that not everything in my childhood years was “perfect” from that point forward, and in fact as I grew older, and especially throughout my middle childhood years. I lost some of that magic just through living and being influenced by people and circumstances that surrounded me, until my mid-teen years. Then everything opened up for me again, and I understood better what I had experienced as a 5 year old. I spent many moments in the years to follow trying to recapture that feeling of Bliss (sometimes successfully) and pull it forward into my current experience…

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